as i endeavor to make this place a resource for other grieving parents, it would be unfortunate to limit posts to only my own thoughts. some very wise friends responded to me after last week’s
little insecurity fest post, and were gracious enough to give me permission to share. they wrote some beautiful words on the significance of telling the stories of our little ones.
“one thing i have learned, on the road paved with losses and deaths and lots of love and tears, is that God authors our stories to be told, that the telling of stories is how we express Him to the world. the telling of His son’s story has woven its way into yours, just as sky’s story will always be intrinsically linked with yours.
[…] parents are storytellers in so many senses of the word.”
“don’t be strong, lani. your strength is not enough. don’t endeavor to hold shattered pieces together. let them fall to the ground so the Savior can pick them up and put them back together according to his design and by his own strength so that he might truly be glorified. we are called to be weak. what a relief, and yet how hard that is for us strong women. but he promised that his grace is sufficient, so now comes the daily challenge to trust his promise and rest our vulnerable selves in his hands. praise God that his power is made perfect in our weakness and praise God for the times where we truly become aware of our weakness in order that he might be better glorified in us. He doesn’t glory in leaving us weak, but in giving us the strength and power we require.”
“sky has one massive extended family, and we want to know. it’s joining the ranks of family stories at all of the reunions, and in the scrapbooks, and when we get old and gray and remember bits and pieces of life in between our jello at denny’s.
don’t call it momentary insanity. call it more-than-momentary sanity. […] we want to remember him, because his story is part of our story.”
i mentioned our night nurse from the hospital, heather, briefly in sky’s birth story. as she was preparing to leave after our second night she asked to hold sky, and spoke these words:
“every baby brings a gift into the world. i think his gift is understanding … and love.”
a prophecy from a kind obstetric nurse. sky’s story compressed a lifetime of meaning into a few womb-encased months, and i will spend the rest of my life exploring and discovering that eternal meaning. and sharing it.
every lost baby brings a gift.
every lost baby has a story.