this post will be disjointed. the voice that usually does the writing is silent right now, and in its place is one that is considerably dis-squirrel!-tracted. first, however, if you happen to be pregnant while reading this, get up from the computer, grab your phone, and go take a pregnancy picture right now. no, really. i’ll wait.

i have very few pictures from my pregnancy with sky. no cute maternity session photos, no “here we are at fill-in-the-blank resort and we’re pregnant” photos, and not nearly enough cell-phone-bathroom-mirror photos. and yes, i’m a photographer for a living. how does this happen?

well …
lots of clients
+ nausea
+ “i am not spending that much for cute maternity clothes”
+ nausea
+ an epic battle between a cranky pregnant lady and her new camera that refuses to act like her old camera
+ did i mention nausea?
= me, now, desperately searching for photographic evidence that my baby lived and we were a family.

fortunately, i found some. my sister-in-law and business partner documented sky’s growth in a series of photos from our sessions and weddings last year, and i think i like them even better than formal portraits. our time with sky was spent doing things, being active, enjoying his kicky little presence while living together with him, and i love how these pictures stir those memories.

i’m pulling these out and sharing them right now because this is where i am … seeking to remember, to enjoy his life, and to engage with my 2 month old in every way possible. sometimes the remembering is hard and painful, and sometimes it’s sweet and beautiful. 9 months with our little boy wasn’t nearly long enough, but it’s still a long time to spend living in tandem with another heartbeat … long enough to make some beautiful memories.

and so, pictures.

getting a bit paunchy in june at 13ish weeks, right after the catastrophe of “never-chop-your-hair-off-during-the-first-trimester-just-trust-me-on-this-one.”


this was a downtown engagement shoot in july at 16 weeks. i had already started to feel him move, but wasn’t sure it was him until much later. we went everywhere for this session: st. john’s park and bridge, waterfront park, hot lips pizza, backspace cafe … no pics of my tummy, but it was definitely one of the last times i squeezed my poor baby into skinny jeans.


finally showing at 23ish weeks, shooting a wedding at blackbird farms in 95 degree heat. my beautiful pregnancy cankles blossomed out of my toms for the very first time that day … it was a special moment.


30 weeks, shooting our last wedding of the season on a cold, rainy october morning at the abernathy center. the faces people made when i climbed up that stepladder were priceless.


31ish weeks, engagement shoot at mcmenamins edgefield.


i love this picture of the three of us (+ clients) demonstrating a pose. so unflattering – all bulgy and frizzy, but so candid. sometimes the process of creating art isn’t flattering, and sometimes the process of creating life isn’t either.


finally, the last shoot of the season at 34ish weeks. we hung out at a farm, shooting tall grass and cats and bugs and each other (and a high school senior). that cute pic of joel on the right? he’s just making people smile and laugh, as usual, camera or no camera.


our family …



5 thoughts on “remembering”

  1. Love these memories and pictures, Lani. It’s about time I saw some of you in the moment! 😉 I’ll take a picture of me at 11 weeks soon. Thanks for the reminder and gentle hint. 😉 Love you friend.

  2. These are awesome, lady! What a great collection of photos and I agree, totally better than the posed maternity shots. They’re so you! Completely perfect.

  3. these are such precious “snapshots” of time, lani. thank you so much for letting us in on them. they capture your family so well and i celebrate the three of you today.

  4. These pictures make me so happy. Inexplicably happy. Warm and fuzzy. Slightly wistful and nostalgic.

    I think the behind the scenes pics are always my favorite from photo shoots. And now they really always will be my favorite, and I’ll be totally useless as an actual sidekick when it comes to clients. 😉

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