vignettes

by lani

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ashigator

this is currently my favorite outfit of ash’s. upon my mentioning this to joel, he declared that the outfit was ok, but he didn’t want ash getting the idea that alligators are cheerful and friendly.

i’m beginning to wonder if we do our children a disservice by clothing them with cute and cuddly images of ferocious wild beasts (dinosaurs, jungle) and/or food (duckies, chickies). we’re setting them up for disillusionment, at the least, if not a very awkward encounter with either their dinner or their own mortality. i bet carter’s and the psychotherapy industry are in cahoots.

nevertheless, it’s still my favorite outfit.

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DIPS
acronym: “diaper in progress situation”

we have coined the term dips to refer to … well, you know what i’m talking about. you start changing the diaper, and then the situation … expands. sometimes it blows up. bodily fluids and semi-solids start pouring out of goodness-knows-where, and you wish you had donned your hazmat suit.

it can be a noun (you wouldn’t believe the dips i had last night), a verb (help! we’re dipsing over here!), or an adjective (what a dipsy night …).

dipses are divided into three categories:
dipscom 1: any dips involving and limited to, you know, number 1.
dipscom 2: any dips involving and limited to number 2.
dipscom 3: any dips that involves 2 or more bodily excretions, consumes 3 or more diapers, produces an inordinate decibal level of infant frustration, or contains diarrhea. there is no dipscom 4, because once you reach a terminal level of horror there’s no point in going on without a fire hose.

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curls

ash’s hair is an enigma to me. when wet, it bunches up into a beautiful collection of tiny, silky curls all about his head. throughout the day it flattens, until at night it is nearly straight. unless he sweated very much, in which case it sweeps back kind of like this. keepin it classy.


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pterodactyl

the ashlet specializes in making sleep-noises that sound exactly like a baby pterodactyl.

what’s that you say?

of course i know what a baby pterodactyl sounds like.

gosh.

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bach

the first recording that ash listened to (after coming to live with us) was of the brandenburg concertos, conducted by jordi savall. i need to make sure to ration his exposure to baroque repertoire, however, because i wouldn’t want period tuning (the practice of tuning notes down approximately a half step in older music) to thwart his pitch identification capabilities.

we’ve already started playing him the suzuki piano method repertoire almost daily. this kid may not grow up to be a musician, but gosh darnit, he’s going to LIKE music.
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